The end of your journey: acceptance

Guest Blog Post Series from members of The Self Employed Collective

written by Kate Ryan

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”

- Lao Tzu

I don’t think I understood what acceptance really meant until my partner and I were told we couldn’t have children. 

Let me back up. The moment in the doctor’s office was not what I would describe as acceptance. It was more of a bawl my eyes out and try to refrain from throwing up in the darling little trash can in the corner kind of moment. But through the practice of meditation, I have learned the true meaning of the word ‘acceptance’, and how to apply it to the broader aspects of my life.  

During my painful road through infertility, I could never quiet my mind. Not only would my mind race, reminding me of the ‘to do lists’ of medications, doctor’s visits, cycle tracking, etc. My mind  became a nagging and cruel companion. Throughout my days and nights, I’d receive negative messages from myself like: “You don’t deserve to be a mother. Your body is broken. You’re doing everything wrong. You’re not doing enough. You’re all alone.”

In these moments, I learned to close my eyes, take a deep breath, and go within. Through meditation, I found the stillness within that exists beyond the whirling thoughts of the mind. I also found an internal voice that was gentle and patient. 

Meditation teaches us to learn the love language of kindness. Through meditation, I learned  how to change my internal monologue from one of shame, anger, and guilt, to the open-hearted space of peace.The healing and nurturing of ourselves begins when we close our eyes and go inward, speaking words of love and encouragement.

Is your internal monologue less than kind? Try this simple exercise: Inhale: “I am,” Exhale: “love.” Repeat for at least a minute. As the words wash over you through the breath, allow them to sink in. Hearing your own voice as the voice of love can be completely transforming from the inside out.

I discovered that the day the doctor told me was the end of my journey was, in fact, the beginning of a bigger picture path of helping others. I now work in Women’s Wellness, and help people on the journey to and throughout parenthood. It is time for open conversation about infertility, trying to conceive, pregnancy, and the postpartum experience, and the tools that help us get through. Together, healing is possible, as with love and acceptance, we meet each other where we are.

Learn more and work with Kate: kateyogaryan.com

Connect with Kate: @kateyogaryan