Supporting New Parents From A Distance

Sometimes we want to be there for new parents, however, we can’t always be there in person. Parents who have infants in the NICU might not have enough time in the day to see others. Friends and relatives might live too far away to visit or help out in person. And now more than ever, Covid 19 has many new parents isolating themselves and their infants for long stretches of time. 

Nutrition support and positive communication are two big ways you can help new parents when you can’t physically be there:

Nutrition Support

When you are already squeezing a million things into a day, it can be hard to find time to cook a real meal or prep healthy snacks. Then even when you have a little time to cook, it is easier to just make a simple meal that can be cooked fast and will be a quick clean up from using minimal dishes. Keep in mind that not everyone has a partner home to help with meals. Here are a few ways to support everyone’s eating habits with a newborn in the home:

-Fill a mom’s freezer with healthy meals she can throw in a crock pot or the oven.

-Bring over/ship some healthy snacks that support breastfeeding if the parent is nursing or pumping. Here’s a great list of galactagogue recipes to support breastmilk production.

-Help mom stay hydrated with the gift of a large water bottle.

-Sign the parents up for a weekly meal prep service.

-Bring some one handed meals or snacks like soup in a thermos or energy bites... for those times she is starving but cannot put the baby down!

Positive Communication

Give praise, encouragement, and someone to relate to. Having a newborn can bring people together; it can also easily feel isolating. No two babies are the same. No two mothers are the same. They can be alike, but every mom and baby are experiencing their own unique relationship and issues. I know I never particularly liked it when other parents told me what I should be doing. Unless it’s asked for, unsolicited advice is not typically welcomed. 

Here are some awesome ways you can help through communication:

-Remind mom that parenting is hard and she is doing a great job!

-Tell mom she looks great and has a beautiful baby! Even better, tell her how happy you feel when you see her interacting with her baby, or that you can easily notice how happy she is or how much loves her little one (even if she seems exhausted or frustrated).

-Lift her up with compliments on all of the things she is doing right. Leave out bringing up messes, or the fact that she hasn’t washed her hair for five days. 

-Instead of giving advice, SHARE your experiences. Let her know your parenting struggles, and the things you tried and what actually worked to get through them. Avoid saying “You need to try…”, or “You should be…” statements. 

-Let her complain to you without downplaying any of her experiences.

-Share information on support groups (moms in the same stage, lactation help, postpartum depression help).